Private Smiles

Russians are not known for their overt cheerfulness or their friendly smiles to random strangers on the street. Which makes sense when you think about it. After all, why would you wave and nod at somebody you don't know. Yet, that is what I am used to. I hail from a small, Texas village where it's customary to give a pleasant "Howdy" and wave as you pass people walking along the side of the road. We consider it friendliness and manners, but looking back it does seem odd.

The fact that most Russians don't smile on the streets or in shops in no way means that they lack manners or social graces. If there is one thing I've learned here, its that Russians are highly social creatures who live to be with each other and enjoy the presence of friends, family and a good drink.

The second thing I've learned is that to really get people or the attitude of a nation you really need to keep your eyes open and focused. While I in no way claim to have unlocked the psychological attitudes and positions of a nation I have learned to cherish the glimpses I get into the daily lives of these seemingly stoic people.

Russian Tableaux

1. On the bus, there is a guy. Young, probably mid-20s, and quiet for the most part. In his hands he holds a tiny baby. He is bent over, staring at the young infant. Next to him is a young woman with long blond hair and a slightly large, yet thin, nose. Her frame is facing the man and child. Her hand reaches out and her fingers brush up and down the baby's arms and legs. Tender, caring. Together the two young parents protectively surround and cherish their precious treasure.

2. In the school I get such joy and amusement out of watching the young kids come and go. They come in with their babushkas, and their little bodies are like round little blue, purple and pink snowmen. When they get inside, their babushkas sternly, yet gently unravel them from the mounds of winter coats, gloves, hats, scarves, sweaters, etc. Then the children go off to class and the babushkas sit and wait, sit and wait. Then, when the boys and girls stream out of the classroom, the babushkas swarm around their ward and commence the bundling process. All out of love.

3. The girls in my classes continually amuse and endear themselves to me in the simplest ways. For all of the advanced technology and desensitization that occurs in the world todays, these preteens and teens know how to show compassion and friendship to each other. Before and after every class, they greet and leave each other with several kisses, both on the cheek and the lips. There is no lesbianic innuendos or snide comments, just sincere, innocent girlish affection for a fellow companion. I can't help but think that the girls in the US are missing out on something. While we greet each other with hugs, I've never seen girls really stroll down the street arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand (at least just as friends) or greet each other with friendly pecks. There is so much stereotyping with those sort of gestures now that we shy away from what use to be common practice. Here its all natural and wonderful.

When you walk down the street, you don't see a lot of people smiling and waving back at your friendly overtures, but when you look at the hands and the eyes you see such tenderness and compassion. When you hear them speak and chatter with each other, or with you if you're lucky, you hear warmth and affection. It's not overt. It's secret and private. But in a way, that makes it worth so much more, because you know they are sincere.